I will spare you all the details, but it was glorious and I am so thankful to put my 20's behind me and have some real fun in my 30's.
Here's the fitness update for February:
I am a little under four months out until this trail race of mine and I can honestly say, with complete confidence, I am not ready.
Since I announced to the world my intentions of dropping some el-bees and running a trail race at elevation, I have done some personal training, taken up some running/hiking on local trails near my home, gotten poison oak once and still am not a solid runner in any way, shape or form. I believe I am in for a suffer fest of epic proportions, but you know what, I am okay with this.
I have four months to give it hell.
I have learned how to lift weights (properly and without ending up on Gym Fails), found a morning smoothie I can make at home and have told enough people about this race that I am really going to look like a wimp if I chicken out at the end, so I am feeling really good about it.
Things I have realized during this process:
I believe the biggest hurdle I have to overcome is my mindset. I can be the most encouraging individual in the world for those around me, but when it comes to me and my own endeavors, I flirt with the line between a realist and a pessimist.
I have struggled many years with anxiety and bouts of depression and as a result, I get inside my own head from time to time and forget that I really am capable of so much more than I think is possible. I see a therapist on a weekly basis and a personal trainer and together, they are my team helping my physical and mental being make it through these goals like a boss. I recognize that I am very lucky to be able to work with these two people and do not take this for granted. They are literally giving me my life back.
I have decided I am not going to hide in the shadows of what is going on with me moving forward. In a weird way, turning the page into a new decade has given me a bit of courage to fly my flag and let the world know that getting in shape, both physically and mentally, is hard. It is a lot easier to stay in bed and binge watch Netflix while I eat leftover gummies from my local market (don't panic, they're organic). Sometimes that person wins and I end up lounging and reading and napping and not doing what I am supposed to be doing, but oh well. I am human and my mind is hard to reason with from time to time.
Some days I crush it. Like today. I ate well, drank loads of water, got an epic workout in after work and have spent the evening stretching out and writing this post. I am hoping to have more of these days than the former, but only time will tell.
I have a thyroid issue. Near as my med professionals can tell, I most likely had this issue for years before it was discovered (possibly pre-Hawaii even). I had a growth the size of a marble on one side of my thyroid that was discovered after I collapsed riding my bike to the gym in July of 2015 (turns out there was a reason why I was having trouble swallowing my food for the past 6 months before this) . It had grown to such an impressive size that it was putting pressure on my carotid artery and made me pass out (a bit). Tests and tests and biopsies and ultrasounds later and it was determined they did not know what it was, so I had half my thyroid removed in September of 2015. The testing of the little growth (called a goiter....gross) came back negative for cancerous cells, so that's a big win in my book.
Turns out, thyroids control a lot of stuff. My hormones, heartbeat, metabolism and anxiety levels were all over the place for a long time and still are. Medication helped some, but I needed a lot more than what I thought I needed both mentally and physically to recover. I became afraid of physical activity for a few years - I associated it with my bike accident and thought if I worked out too much it would happen all over again and I would lose control. I am learning this is not the case and I have only just started to push myself again and work out of my comfort zone.
Fast forward to today, nearly three and a half years after my surgery and I am just now coming to terms with all that has happened to my body as a result of that little marble-sized growth. I am at my heaviest weight ever. I struggle with my energy levels even today and have been on anti-anxiety medication for about two years now to try to give my body some relief. It has not been the easiest journey, nor the most timely of excursions, but I am living proof that changes can be made in your own time with the help of patient friends, family and professionals.
I am acknowledging that I am not at my best right now. I have a long way to go to get back to the levels I was at both in fitness and in mental capabilities, but I am on the road back and I can honestly say, for the first time in about four years, I am excited. I am excited to be the strong, confident and outrageously driven individual I know is still buried deep inside my soul. She's still there and has just been hibernating for a while, waiting for the moment to break out and show the world she is capable of so many possibilities.
So if you see me on the trail and I look like I am dying, rest assured, I usually look like a cherry tomato about to explode when I run, so I am probably fine, but thanks for your concern. If you climb with me in the near future, do not judge me for figuring out how to get this heavy body up those "easy" walls. And if you see me eating a burrito, back yourself up, because this appetite ain't never gonna change.
As always, thank you for spending some of your time reading my words. I look forward to the adventures ahead and am excited to see what this body can do! <3 M.
Some Cambria hiking - Fiscalini Ranch Preserve
Moon Stone Beach - Cambria
Not a bad running spot - Wilder Ranch Bluffs
Sunsets at Pleasure Point cannot be beat.
It's candy cap season.......... candy cap cupcakes for everyone. These are not psychadelic and actually, once dried they taste like maple syrup. Yes, I was careful and was with someone who knew exactly what we were looking for and anything that was questionable was left behind and no one died and we were safe and ..........
