Post December 21st

Well lookie here... the world didn't end after all.
I am pleased to say I have gotten to see the days post-"Apocalypse" and am celebrating by baking copious amounts of pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and cookies.  With my holiday shopping done, I am excited to say I can sit back and relax for my day off before the holiday madness really hits.
Around this time last year, I was still in the infancy of adjusting to living on this island.  I still knew very few people and unfortunately sat on the phone with friends as they helped me cope with being away from all those I love, especially during the holidays.  This year is a little bit different, thank goodness.  While I am still without my California sunshines, I am happy to report I have found a  motley crew of friends out here with which to share the holiday cheer.  I hope the holidays find you in a similar situation- surrounded by friends and great food.
This next week hopefully will bring many laughs, many whales and many cookies- in that order.
I would be lying if I said I didn't think something bizarre was going to happen on December 21st (Human drama, not planetary alignments).  People never cease to amaze me and I was thinking of many coming out of the hills on the morning of December 22nd seeing a "new light" and living a new life.  I am sorry to say I was less than entertained by this whole event, but that is probably for the best- people are crazy.  I am glad that the world did not end, obviously, and am looking forward to good times to come.
I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with an old Professor from the University of Iowa.  An incredibly brilliant gentleman, in his mid-80s I would say, with bright blue Oakley bifocals and a very light stutter in his speech.  After hearing about my undergraduate career at UCSC and my "plans" for the future, he told me something that I will always remember-
Keep your eye on the bigger picture, however keep your focus on one of the lower corners of the bigger picture- somewhere where you can focus your energy and time and love.  If you focus too broadly, you often become overwhelmed and burnt out.  Have fun, he said, and remember to focus on something that keeps your heart happy because if you don't, you'll end up like a lot of the old saps that come out to Hawaii who realize they have missed out on the point of living.  His name was Hugh, Hugh Morris.
He was taking his 60 year old daughter parasailing the next day in Kona, what a cool old guy.

We're seeing whales.  They're sure taking their sweet time returning to the islands, but they are coming back.
Some fun facts about humpbacks:

• They're the fifth largest whale in the world.
• Humpbacks range in size from 40-55 feet and have about a ton (2,000lbs) of weight for every foot of length... a 45 foot whale would weigh around 90,000lbs.
• The ladies are the larger of the two genders and give birth to 10-14 foot babies while they're here in Hawaii (weighing in at around 1,500lbs).  
• The males sing to one another after they lose the chance to mate with a female- a song of defeat...
• Humpbacks breach (jump all the way out of the water) for several reasons, I believe the most important is because it's fun.  I would love it if I was a whale.  
• All humpbacks' eyes are brown.
• They can hold their breath for 45 minutes.
• Humpbacks love to hear little kids' voices- especially the mothers.  They come over to the boat when we have kids on board to check on them.  Motherly instinct bridges between species, absolutely.
• A humpback's favorite drink is a mai tai.
• They're amazing and you should come see them and me.

Happy Holidays.  Please travel safely, along with being crazy, people are also awful drivers.  

Enjoy the snow, for those of you able to ride through the holidays and happiest of new years to you all.

Sending my love from this little lava stone in the Pacific to you, today and every day,

M.

Seasmoke at Sunset 12/22/12

Mom and Baby, I wish I could say this was my photograph....

~There is always, always, always something to be thankful for~

Turkey Day

Even as I write this, I am falling victim to the effects of too much good food in too short a period of time.
Living on an island, although it is a beautiful thing, is also a major form of isolation at times.  Often we find ourselves away from family and friends that we have grown up spending holiday seasons with year after year.  
What happens when you're by yourself in a new place during the holiday season?  Do you stay home and avoid the holiday season?
NOT UP IN HERE!  Not if I have anything to say about it.  
Because many of the people that work on the boats are from different parts of the United States, many do not have anyone to share the holiday cheer with and therefore spend them alone.  This year, we decided to have an Orphans Thanksgiving for those that were working and for those who did not have any plans for turkey day.  A meal was prepared (to perfection, might I add) and brought in a cooler to keep warm to the boat that was taking the sunset charter out for the evening.  Once the cruise was over (which we may or may not have stowed away on), on this particularly gray day, we set up for a feast for the six of us.  Six people from all different walks of life, all different places and all different ages.  We exchanged what we were thankful for, in a joking manner and ended up sharing our stories of what each person's first Thanksgiving was like on the island.  It's amazing that no matter how different a group of people are, if you set them in front of good food and a comfortable space, you will find that we all have things in common and stories to share.  No matter what, you can always learn something from someone else unexpectedly.  
This Thanksgiving I discovered that although I was far from home for the holidays, I was not alone.  Humans are social creatures by nature and if a space is created for people to share, they will.  Add mashed potatoes and anything is possible.  
This Thanksgiving I am thankful for new friends and for my access to the warm ocean.  I miss my family and my friends back home, but know no matter what, we all have something to be thankful for this holiday season.
I hope your tummies are full and your hearts are warm.  
Aloha nui loa,
M.

Ze Turkey

The Spread on Alala

Some smiling sharks...

We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
~Frederick Keonig

One Year Down

To say time has been flying is an understatement of epic proportions.  

As I write this I am sitting on the lanai, watching the sunset and trying to catch up on some rest.  The past weeks have brought tsunamis, horrendous Sandy, car trouble, pirates and the continuation of chaos within the workplace.  Obama's reelection, Halloween mayhem, waterfalls, diving and lava.  Coconut palms, warm clothes (I've lost my ability to stay warm on my own), whales and new creatures.
It's been a while since I have written and now I have already passed my one year anniversary on the island- November 4th.  After planning to stay until last April, I have quickly doubled my time and plan to stay a while longer.  As usual, I still miss everything in California, but I am loving my time out here now too.  
Here's what's been happening the past two months: 
We've gone fishing- a lot.  Fresh ahi, mahi mahi and ono, enough for everyone.  I'm fat and sassy now.
We're starting to see humpback whales coming back, I just saw my first breach (where the whale jumps all the way out of the water and lands on its back) of the season a few days ago.  I may or may not have caused a complete scene on the boat...luckily I was not in uniform...
I found the Big Island Candies company...enough said...I now have a frequent buyers card.
I planted a coconut tree where the old town of Kalapana used to be before the lava took it in the late 80s- it's an intense story, you should Google it.
I got to bundle up and see the glow from the Kilauea crater in Volcano National Park...oxymoron-ish, but it was cold and dark.  The glow was so powerful.
I watched Obama win his second term, although not as excited as when he initially won with Stevenson House 3 storming the campus and raging all night, but it was still a load off my shoulders to know I wasn't going to have to move onto a boat in international waters somewhere...just kidding...but seriously.
I've free dove through lava tubes and spotted whale sharks cruising the depths.
I've ruined a great friend's purple surfboard out here because it took the hit on the lava rocks and coral instead of me...woops...
I dressed up as a pirate and paid a buck-an-ear for my earrings....you know you laughed.
All in all it's all been well here. (say all one more time).  

Sending love,
Spam count is...up....from where it was....I know....it's not a good thing....
Here's some photos to explain a little more:

The falls at Umauma River (pronounced uu-mauw-muh)

Planting my coconut palm at Kalapana

Mango Grove...you can't tell we were lost when this was taken as I look pretty happy. 

The Kilauea Crater glowing on clear night.  I was about 50 yards away.

The mooring ball at a dive sight called Pentagon.  If you look closely you can see a group of baby sergeant major fish swimming around the left side, below the eye.

“My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.” - Jack Layton, 1950-2011

Spelunking For a Swim

Scrambling over rocks, taking time not to hit my head or scrape my arms as it's all lava rock and rougher than sandpaper, I make my way into the shallow opening taking me to a dark place, a quiet place.  No one but us in the middle of no where on the coast.
"So, you climb huh?"
"Yup."
"So, you're not afraid of heights?"
"I was, but I decided that was a fear I needed to get rid of."
"What about claustrophobia?"
"I am a little bit, but I'll be fine."
"Great."
And we head into darkness.  Lucky for me, there are two things always in my backpack...a luna bar and a headlamp.  Both of which I was in desperate need of at that time.  Black Diamond don't fail me now.
Everything is sharp, except for a foot-wide level pathway down the right side of the tunnel.  This lava tube is about 8 feet tall at it's tallest from the pathway and about 12 feet wide, it's spectacular.  A perfect oval shaped tunnel leading deeper and deeper into darkness, toward the salty sea.  I hug the wall on the right as when I look left I notice there is a a 10 foot drop to sharp rock below.  We head under a natural skylight, I see a tree above and think to myself how nice it would be to be sitting next to that tree rather than under it, far under it.  The skylight lights our way for another 20 feet and then we round a bend and are back in darkness, dependent on our lights to keep us from missing any vital steps.
"So that's all water next to you by the way."
"No it is not."
I surprise myself with my quick snappy retort, but everything looks dry and foreboding in this tube.  He quickly finds a pebble along the wall and tosses it into the center of the tube.  He's right.  It's water.  The clearest, most beautiful, undisturbed water I have ever seen in my life starts rippling about 3 feet from my left foot.  It's like something out of National Geographic.  As our lights shine through the ripples, the tunnel no longer feels so scary.  It's got water, I like water, I feel comfortable around water... okay, I can do this.  We continue, deeper and deeper into this tube until we come to a final bend where a large pool of water sits, again, undisturbed and so pure.  We leave our packs and my headlamp (not waterproof) behind and continue on.  It's high tide.  The springs are slowed during high tide because they cannot flow freely from the tube out to sea.  Without warning, my friend jumps into darkness creating a splash of epic proportions, light in hand.  He turns around and looks at me hopeful that I will jump right behind him, but my nerves are starting to get the best of me (I hate when they do this), chickeny moment... I start thinking about earthquakes (grew up in California, helloooo) and how no one knows where to come look for us if this thing collapses, never mind the fact that few know where this place is anyway.  I sit down.  The water is cold, breathtakingly cold.  It calms me down.  Chacos still on I slide on into the water.  Instantly everything is better.  I figure if a cave monster grabs my foot, I will at least be going down in a beautiful place.  We swim with the light illuminating one of the walls and relax in the cool climate of this little, dark, quiet paradise.  I'm told normally we would have been able to swim further down into the tube but because of the full moon, the tides were dramatically high and filled in the tube deeper than normal.
The silence was deafening.  Picture a snowstorm where you are standing outside and the snow is falling so heavily around you that it muffles out all sound.  A silence so pure and intense that it almost hurts your ears as they strain for sound.  That is what it was like deep in this tube away from any movement.  Pristine and calm.
As we make our way back toward the light of day, I cannot help but be thankful for that little twinge of fear. Now that we are heading out, naturally I am braver and take the lead out of the cave, maybe because I am suffocating for the reassurance of sunlight who knows.  Given the chance again I would not hesitate so much, but then again, I accomplished something, even if it was small.  I won a little internal battle with myself that day.
The rest of our day took us to a lagoon full of sea turtles (so many turtles), a warm water spring, a pair of lone forgotten Prada sunnies and a relaxing swim with Dude Crush and Squirt in the layered water of cold and warm (I didn't pee I swear).  The lagoon has so many fresh water springs feeding into it that there are layers of cold fresh water flowing over the warmer salt water.

A jeep ride back up the bumpy gravel road and a much needed shady spot to relieve my poor nose from the sun.  Day well spent.
It's days of random adventure that keep me happy.  I know it doesn't work for everyone, but try to let yourself recharge every once in a while by doing something fun and out of your normal routine.  It reminds you that you are alive and well, what could be better than that?

Aloha from this little lava rock,
M.

"The idea is to die young as late as possible." ~ Ashley Montagu

The Working World

I have been struggling recently with the concept of money and how to continue living the lifestyle I would like to live by paying for it through things I only want to do, not have to do...sounds good huh?

I have recently been having conversations regarding working and quality of life with several people in my life, whose opinions I respect very much.  There are those that are a slave to the 9-5 working day, others that are making just enough to get by so they can play and enjoy life the other 4 days out of the week.  There is the strong individual who is working way too hard for her age only to find that the cost of living never lets up no matter how hard you work.  What about the one that just got out of college, has a degree and is now waiting tables and working part time at something she is really passionate about (that doesn't pay hardly at all) (and yes, she is one of the lucky ones)?

One of the smartest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing put it bluntly, "you're part of the working class now, you better get used to it."  I had a frightening thought, what if the working world really sucks as badly as it appears?  Morbid, I know.  I have gone the first year out of college working jobs I have loved- for a year now... what if that isn't always the case?  And then on top of that, is it really in my control to change it or am I stuck?  What about when you throw relationships or my gosh, kids and house payments into the mix? You are quickly buried in a pile of important things that are dependent on your financial stability and location.  How do you get yourself out of this situation if the urge every arises?  Many will say, "you just don't get yourself in that situation to begin with..."- thank you Captain Obvious.  I think most of us would love to have that much control and be able to change anything at any moment...however in the real world situations arise, plans change and obstacles unfold.  Things do not always go as we plan, which is a beauty and a curse of living life.

My thoughts continue on the topic of how do you change your situation once you're settled in it?  How do you take that step to changing it?  What's the use in setting yourself up for a great life when you have no time or energy to live it?  This is a classic situation that I have seen countless times lived out by people I love and people I've just met.  How do you keep yourself from falling into the money wheel grind?  How do you keep your life and pay for it too?  

As near as I can tell, this tight rope is more precarious than Lost Arrow Spire and more frustrating than a day with no wind and no motor.  What do you do?  How do you do it?  

Do you live modestly and just hope nothing bad happens that will send you into the grind or do you work yourself into money bag-dom knowing that "it will all be worth it someday."  Do buy lottery tickets?  How about marrying rich?  

When did it turn into so many people hating their daily lives?  Why did it get to this point?  What are some little things we can do to remedy these situations and make life enjoyable on a daily basis?  

You can read books on how to be happy until you are blue in the face.  You can fill in that happiness hole with all the newest gizmos and gadgets that money can buy.  You can even surround yourself with a bunch of really important, sophisticated people that side track you from what's missing.  I'm no goddess (well okay, you got me), but I do know that masking things only works for so long.  Trust me, I may be young, but been there done that.

I recently talked to a woman who works at an old folks home on the mainland.  She has had the job of working with the mental health of these ladies and gentlemen, whose time on this earth is coming to a close.  You know what she told me?  She said the thing she heard more often than not was, I wish I had taken more chances.  I wish I hadn't settled for what I settled for.  I wish I had taken more time for myself and had a little more fun.  It went by too quickly.  I wish I could go back and take more chances.  This is coming from a generation where taking chances meant you were reckless because why go out and risk it all when you would just come home with your tail between your legs?  And yet, as they are living out their final days, they look back and realize it would have been worth it to take those chances.  No matter what you believe, you only have this one life as you, so you might as well take advantage and enjoy it.  Don't wait it out for something spectacular to happen and then wake up realizing you let your whole life pass you by.  It's gone too quickly.  

While I don't have the answer to what will make everyone in this world happy, if I did I truly would be the Goddess... what I can say is keep it in mind that you deserve the world and shouldn't settle for anything that makes you truly unhappy.  There are always going to be obstacles that won't be particularly enjoyable, however, long term, life is too short to stay grumbly.  Figure out if those gizmos and gadgets are really worth the ton of hours you spent working at a job you absolutely hate.  Weigh the options.  If it's worth it and it truly does make you happy, keep at it.  If you wish you had the lavish lifestyle and that's what you truly want, then keep working at it, because if you want it only you will know how hard you are willing to work to get it.  For the ones without work, who are just starting, or who are in a lull, keep your chin up because random wonderful things fall into your lap when you least expect it.  The universe truly is chaos and some things just happen and wind up making things amazing.  Don't lose hope.  I think above everything else, if things aren't going your way, you just cannot ever lose hope.  Those little pieces of happiness that happen every day will keep you going until something great comes your way.  This does not mean sit still and wait, this is not the Tao, unfortunately this technique does not ALWAYS work.  Staying positive and motivating yourself to switch out the things that make you unhappy for things that do will keep you going and if nothing else, occupy your time until the awesomeness unfolds.  Stay on a mission to have a good time.

-M.

~"Everything's going to be super duper." -Marc Johns

Little Cove, Mangoes and Fishing

Imagine being suspended 1000+ft above the constant crashing waves on a cliff side composed of nothing but loose rocks, vines and scurrying critters.   It is the dead of night and nothing but torches light the surrounding 10 feet of area, precarious indeed.  You’re a young warrior and you are about to carry out your destiny.  As you are slowly lowered down on rope that I can guarantee was not UIAA certified halfway down the cliff, you are not completely alone.  You carry with you the remains of a member of the Ali’i- the royal family.  As members of the royal family pass, onto what was thought to be the eternal life, their bones were taken by a young warrior and hidden in caves high out of hands’ reach in a protected cove known as Kealakekua Bay.  In Hawaiian culture, the bones, or final remains of any individual are said to possess the eternal soul and in order to keep these souls safe, especially the royal family’s souls, they were hidden high above any village.  As you can imagine, the young warrior was essentially the only one who would know exactly where these remains were hidden, so in order to guarantee that no man could steal away the souls of the elite, the warrior’s line was cut after his task was completed.  Falling the remaining hundreds of feet to the rocky abyss below, his sacrifice was seen as a great honor.   To be able to help keep the souls of the Ali’i safe for eternity was seen as heroic and noble. 

What must have been going on in these young men’s minds as they were slowly being lowered over the side of one the largest exposed cliff on the island?  Were they proud?  Scared?  Excited for their steps into the eternal life?  How does one prepare for this?  While I do not know the full scope of the ceremonies leading up to the actual “burial,” I do know that this is a very powerful piece of Hawaiian culture that has since been discontinued (for obvious reasons), but is still seen as a very sacred part of protecting the eternal being. 

This bay is also incredibly famous for something else- Captain Cook’s arrival.  In 1779, Captain James Cook, the first European to set foot on the island, “discovered” the Big Island.  His first landing put him right in the heart of Kealakekua Bay.  With its towering cliffs, sharp lava rocks and exposed reefs, Captain Cook’s ships were anchored far off shore out of the harm’s way.  Short boats were used to transport crew to shore where they were greeted by the native Hawaiian peoples- who thought of these light skinned men as Gods.  As you can imagine, as with any major land discovery, shit went awry relatively quickly.  As with the Native Americans, traditions were slashed, lives were lost, and general death, disease and destruction ensued.  The long and short of it is, Captain Cook overstayed his welcome and committed an unforgiveable act- kidnapping a Chief as collateral for a “stolen” short boat.  Kealakekua Bay needless to say is also the site where Captain James Cook was executed later that same year, once they discovered he was no god….For such a beautiful cove tucked away on the cliff side, it sure does have a heavy past. 

The only times (two in total) I have been to this bay have been by boat, so on my day off I decided to head down there by car to see it from land. It's absolutely beautiful and such a powerful place.  There is such a presence here.  I ended up sidetracking myself with a long run along the coast and a pick up volleyball game in the shade.  Coconuts and mangoes for sale, freshly brewed coffee right from the farm and friendly kayakers were all around.  I also found a gentleman sitting next to the beach carving tiki men....haha....oh Hawaii...

After a quick stop for the perfect cup of coffee, the day ended with a trip to the Mango Festival in downtown Kona.  This was basically the closest thing I have experienced out here to a mini farming festival.  Lots of great foods, macadamia nuts, beautiful jewelry and live music.  I picked up two WWOOFers (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms) and gave them a ride to the festival on my way back from Kealakekua. 

 

My weekend ended with the Wahine (girl) Fishing Tournament out of Honokohau Harbor.  Basically a big fishing tournament just for women.  It's a charity event and was themed African Safari.  All the boats and fisher-ladies were decorated and dressed as such.  It was a riot.  I have never laughed so much at a fishing tournament.  Although I did not partake, I did help to decorate boats and enjoyed the festivities after the fact.  The winning fish was a 401lb marlin.  The winnings are split up between the ladies on the team and the sponsored charity.  Why just raise money, when you can raise money and fish at the same time?  

Aloha nui loa,

M. 

July O' Clock

A lot has happened over the last month:
Boats have hit the rocks, others have been given much needed face lifts, friends have come and gone, hikers have been swept out to sea and hurricanes are approaching.  Hitch hikers have been picked up on their own spiritual journeys, leaving everything they knew behind because they didn't want it, friends have ended the lifestyles they have known for years and started off fresh, new connections have been made through old friends and life as I know it has changed drastically.  We've gone horseback riding and swam out of the way of manta rays.  Caught octopus and ate ahi.  Slept in and barely slept.  
Hollywood came to Hawaii and believe me when I say, all the money in the world is not worth the unhappiness that was surrounding these people.  A TV crew and cast came out on the boats to shoot one of their episodes for a new show that seems to be a spin off of the Bachelor.  "We're in the business of changing lives...ruining them, but changing them." (one of the producers explained to me once he was on board). Wow.   No doubt the moderately attractive man and the five girls hanging on his every word will find everything they are looking for and more if they are truly as they appeared.  I suppose if everyone acted exactly the same, the world would be a very boring place.  I am completely content with my life out of the lime light...wow.  People never cease to amaze me.
We've started working with kids out on the boats.  A few companies based out of Wyoming take trips out to the islands every summer with 10-15 participants and one of their stops while they are out here is onto our boats to learn to sail and live on the water.  Three days is usually the limit.  They do it all- sail, clean, cook, sleep, eat- the whole nine yards.  It's my job to make sure they don't fall off the boat, to teach and to stay overnight to make sure they don't get the bright idea of pulling a fast exit in the middle of the night (well to make sure nothing bad happens)(...same thing).  We teach them about the wildlife and take them snorkeling and free diving.  Not a bad way to spend the months of July and August.  
Life on the islands seems to be a roller coaster for me.  I can never decide if I am truly content here or if I am thirsting for something else.  It seems to change almost daily, which is exhausting.  I am hoping for some peace of mind sometime soon because this back and forth is making my head spin.  If I had the community I left behind in Santa Cruz out here, I would be just fine.  I would love it.  Although I have made some great friends, I have not found the full community that recharges my batteries like the ones in the lovely SC.  In time I hope.  For now I am working on me and what makes my heart tick.  
Life is good, even when it's bad.  There is something to be learned and cherished every single day.  If nothing else focus on the fact that there is something valuable that is going to happen today and it is your job to find it. 


Until next time, 
aloha nui loa,
M. 


It seems true at times...
"Unbeknownst to most, the world is ruled by a single pipe-smoking rabbit." 
-anonymous

20 Things

This island continues to amaze me.
Here are some more interesting things that I have noticed about the Big Island:

1)  Locals park their cars backward in parking spaces to show they have pride in their vehicles.

2) Shaking hands is an insensitive way of introduction.

3) Garages are the hang out spots at houses, not living rooms.  They're usually outfitted with couches and televisions, for "the boys."

4) Paniolos- Hawaiian cowboys.  There is a lot of cattle country on the big island.  Happy cows come from California...happy cows also come from Hawaii apparently.

5) A back porch is called a lanai.

6) Vog- volcanic fog- think smog, but from a volcano.  Nasty stuff that socks in the island when the winds don't blow it offshore... this cannot be good for my lungs...

7) Kama 'aina- local- show your Hawaii State ID and restaurants and other places give discounted prices.

8) Canoe paddling is the official sport of Hawaii.

9) Parking spaces appear to be much smaller than on the mainland...maybe because we are on an island with limited space...perhaps...?

10)  Centipedes and Brown Recluses are the creepy crawlers to watch out for out here.

11) "Hawaii Casual"- don't even worry about fully dressing up out here...ever...

12) "No rain, no rainbows."

13) Aunties and Uncles- any adult's title to a child that isn't their parent.

14) Black sand beaches only last for about 500-600 years because the coral changes them to white sand beaches.

15) Everyone and their mother has a dog out here.

16) There is officially rumor of one, count it one, bolted climbing route on the whole of the Big Island of Hawaii...

17) A majority of Hawaiians don't visit the ocean too often.

18) Random things will continue to happen no matter where you are on the Big Island- like the coffee barista offering to share a house with you because you are looking for a place to live... or meeting a guy from Jamestown just down the bar from me....

19) Fish is a staple source of protein here for most families- beef and chicken are actually too expensive.

20) The Harbor, like most marinas in the world I would imagine, has its own community, where everyone knows everyone and will jump at the opportunity to help out someone in need.  It has been one of the most pleasant surprises on this island recently.

Aloha nui loa,
M.

"When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky."
-Buddha

Bittersweet~

Sitting on the train now I am flooded with emotions coming from all directions.  It’s not from lack of caffeine because I have now had two very large cups and could probably push this train to San Francisco with all of the pent up energy I now have in my system. 

This visit back to the little coastal city of Santa Cruz has been fast and freeing.  I am in love with that town.  I don’t think I will ever be able to move back, but I wouldn’t mind if an opportunity arose sometime in my life, maybe soon.  As I sat and watched my friends pack their lives up into various bags, boxes, crates and purses, I realized how much has changed over the past year of my life.  While my belongings are still scattered around various places in the states of California and Hawaii, I am not packing everything up like I was last year to head off somewhere random or to head home.   I did not have that fresh fear of what my next step was going to be…although the fear is no longer fresh in my mind, it is still always present.  I sat there and tried to help, however I found that I didn’t want to expedite the process – I didn’t want them to go.  I wanted all of us to stay, happy and healthy and together in that little home. 

An entertaining image of all of us crossed my mind- old and fat and gray.  We were bickering and building fires in the fireplace while someone made some sort of concoction of quinoa and black beans in the kitchen.  Random gear from the Rec would be strewn about the living room that was never returned, mismatched mugs and mason jars would litter the tables and window sills.  We’d still have too many instruments piled up in random corners of the living room.  Meg Ryan would still have a loose flipper and the wall of wonder would have extended all around the parlor.  There would be more cardigans and Velcro shoes, reading glasses and canes next to the door.  I would be baking more things with less sugar because we would need to be watching what we ate at this point and there would always be fresh cut flowers on the counter and special ones drying above the table.  There would still be a surplus of wetsuits out back and Sunday morning waffles on the porch.  We would be moving more slowly, but still moving.  Bikes would have changed into cruisers with little bells and baskets.  We would be in bed by 8 and up early as usual.  We’d bicker and hug and kiss and love one another through every new experience that graced our old souls. 

This is what would happen if we stayed.

We would all find reasons to stay a little bit longer, just a couple more days.  It is easy to do when you’re home.  It’s not easy to leave.  It’s exciting to go for an adventure knowing we can always come back.  While I am not sure what the future of Laguna is, I do know it will continue to be a haven for friends and for new family.  It isn’t ending, it is merely starting again.  It is going to be a magical place for people to share- to laugh, to love, to cry, to work, to feel safe and to make new bonds.  It’s too hard for something so powerful to ever really end.

Stevenson class made me proud.  The speeches given were amazing.  The faces, all grown and ready for no one knows what, but ready.  The fear in their eyes and the excitement in their steps as they walked across the stage made my heart sing.  I had seen these students on day one of their college careers- with that same fear in their eyes and excitement in their steps four years earlier.  As the speaker takes the podium and explains the financial state of the United States and our Golden State, I see heads drop.  This is something no one wants to hear.  Why can’t the world be at the feet of all these amazing graduates who have worked so hard to better their minds and lives?  It isn’t fair. We are all on this boat ready to sail and for many they are stuck at the dock.  They’re anxiously awaiting the voyage and have prepared, done everything right and worked so hard.  What now?  The speaker presses on saying it is not going to harm anyone to keep those dreams held close, to aspire to great heights and to do what makes you the happiest-always to do what makes you the happiest.  Although the world is not laid out in front of us the way we think it should be, it is still there for these fresh hands to grasp and mould.  There are chances to be taken and opportunities that will spring up that will change lives.  There are going to be tough times, that you really wish would hurry up and pass you by and times that you wish would never end.  No matter what direction life takes you, you will always have the support of those around you, whether they are right next to you or thousands of miles away.  Love and support knows no distance.

My congratulations go out to the Class of 2012.  Don’t let your fear keep you waiting- the world is your oyster.  <3 

Love from Cali,

M.

And now you're set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars.  

~anonymous

Gecko on the Face

Aloha!

Just woke up from my usual mid-afternoon snooze...I'm officially an oldie...to a gecko leaping onto my face. 

I think he may have clumsily fallen off of my ceiling, but I like to think I am surrounded by skilled geckos and therefore he was a leaping gecko, not falling.  Needless to say my nap was cut short.

An amazing meal last night has left me in a semi-comatose state today.  The great conversation, however, has kept my mind moving all day today while working on the boats.  Discussions of love, love lost and love found.  I have discovered that most people are not telepathic, meaning they cannot read your mind (personally I like to use "telepathetic" after one of my favorite movies).  Remember to speak your mind and tell those around you how you feel.  The world could be so much more full of love if everyone spoke their mind a little more often...unless you have some negative shhhtuff to get off your chest in which case, choose wisely...

There have been some interesting hurtles to get over here on the big island.  There can be a lot of tension working with some of the people I work with on a regular basis, which leads to interesting interactions and damaged friendships.  Everyone is fighting their own battles outside of the work place, the world is a difficult place sometimes.  Practice patience and remember to try to give people the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.  And when all else fails, kill them with kindness, it will never fail you. ;)

It's been another beautiful day in paradise, however I am thirsting for my next adventure.  I am anxious to get back to the mountains to sort through all of my belongings and then am planning my next steps for the upcoming year of my life.  My plan is to stay on the Big Island for a while longer.  I have just gotten my Hawaii license...foolish in comparison to California's serious ID and am going to see if the owner of my company will let me "greenify."  The more I tell people what I majored in at UCSC (environmental studies and earth sciences for those who are wondering), the more I realize I am not putting my degree to much use out here. I have decided to try to become the environmental liaison for my company and help to reach out to local NGOs to gain their input and support in greenifying our company.  Ocean Sports is responsible for taking thousands of people a year out on our vessels for adventures among some of the ocean's most sacred creatures.  I believe that this in itself is enough of a reason to make an even greener impact on our guests than we already do (OS is already an incredibly green company, woo!).  There is so much to do and I am excited at the possibility of taking on this task.  Any input from any of my fellow envs slugs would be greatly appreciated, please email me: megwenbourne@gmail.com

For now, the sun is setting and tonight may prove to be a perfect night for glow poi on the beach. 

The UCSC kayak club is currently on the American River taking their annual Spring trip.  I wish I was with them so badly, it's actually ridiculous.  I hope (if any of you are reading this)  that you all had an amazing and safe journey down the river this weekend.  I am sending my love to you across the ocean.

The weekend has started with an owl, yummy food, rainstorms, eucalyptus groves and more sharks... oh nelly....

Aloha nui loa,

M. 

A wise old owl sat on an oak,

The more he saw the less he spoke,

The less he spoke the more he heard,

Why aren't we like that wise old bird?

-anonymous

Gaining the World

                                                                     hearts of white.

oceanic white tip- 250 lbs, 7 ft long. let him go. :)

Well Alohaaaa.
These past few weeks have been a collection of all kinds of adventures.
Everything from sharks to Brazilian crowds, dinner parties in macadamia nut orchards and dancing on hardwood floors.  There was boat hull scrubbing and playing with new puppies, coffee dates and home cooked meals.  My first spam breakfast and sailing to the southern-most point of the island.  Friends leaving on sailing trips to Fanning Island and others leaving for school or work on the mainland.  Old friends getting married and others newly engaged.
Impermanence.  Everything is constantly changing here.  And everywhere.
I'm currently pursuing new accommodations and wondering what is in store for the next year of my life. 
The only thing I am sure of is my uncertainty about everything...still.


I met an amazing woman a few days ago out on a charter.  She sat inside the cabin on my favorite boat for the majority of the cruise.  Her gray hair flowing softly in the light breeze as we sailed north along the coast.  She was the matriarch of her family, you could tell.  Well dressed, elegantly poised and smelling of musky perfume.  Although I speak zero Portuguese, I understood every word she said to me.  Her advice on finding love, her compliments of my blue eyes and her well wishes that I may someday find a worthy man made me laugh.  Before departing from the boat, she kissed both of my cheeks and wished me every happiness in my life.  I learned that day how closely you can still communicate with someone without speaking their language.  It was a very special ending to a very long day.


Ted Danson, from Cheers, boarded the boat yesterday, uninvited.  I was a little shocked when I walked out and found this incredibly tall, graying man on the stern resting from his swim from shore.  Ha.  The people you meet out here.  Everyone seems to be looking to escape to Hawaii.  


I had a woman ask me the other day where I would vacation to since I already lived in Hawaii.  Without hesitation I said the Sierra.  She had never heard of them.  Wow.  She's missing out I immediately think.  I can't wait to go back.  


A long discussion with a close friend has led me to start planning an adventure to the Rockies and then to the Sierra to go climbing.  It has left me questioning my abilities, seeing as the only thing I have climbed recently are the stairs onto the boat.  Speaking of, ZAP arrived in the mail a couple weeks ago.  He's orange and ready for adventures with me.  First adventure, climbing the mast of our largest catamaran. 


I am so sorry to say I will not be coming back to the mainland for a while.  Originally I had planned on a June visit, however ticket prices and lack of a good chunk of time in my work schedule are keeping me from traveling right now.  I am so sorry to the Banana Slugs whose graduation I will be missing.  I will be there in spirit.  My babies are leaving the nest, my Laguners are heading out into the world.  I am so proud of you all.  The time has flown by so fast.  My gosh.  I cannot believe how the time has flown.


Another beautiful day out here on the Big Island.  Planning a trip to the opposite side in the next couple days.   Decompression and relaxed time with close friends in the rainforest.  My body aches from the hull scrubbing and my hands are cut up from barnacles.  A nap in the near future and a bottle of Pellegrino to end this sunny Sunday afternoon.


SPAM count: 1  (ha!)


Aloha nui loa,
M.


"Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver and gold."
 -Bob Marley 
(31 years have passed since you left- 5/11/81)

Deep Blue

This day started out horrible, I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My mood belonged to an angry angry person for a majority of the morning. I didn't want to be around anyone. I got on the boat, the little one today- just two of us. I think the captain knew my morning was rough. We left the bay. Heading out to sea. Dolphins were coming up on the horizon, 40 of them or so. He looked at me and said, "Grab your mask. Sometimes you need to recharge your batteries." As I ease into the water at the stern of the boat, it is all I can do not to start crying into my mask. I'm so angry and my heart hurts.

I look down.

There they are. I'm in about 60 feet of water and the dolphins are swimming under me. A mom and her baby first. Turning to look at me, they casually keep swimming. The rest swim by under me, their tranquility rubs off on me through the water. I don't cry.

I just lay there in the water watching them pass by me, heading south-no agenda, just swimming because that's what they're good at and they love it.

I look up at the captain who has turned the boat around and is heading back toward me, he smiles. I climb up on the side and sit there watching the dorsal fins gradually get further and further from us.

A silent thank you drifts out to them from me, just for being there.

Sometimes the day just doesn't feel right, but that doesn't mean that people won't surprise you and help you turn it around.

I miss so many things, but I know that my life is going the way it should go. It is impossible to be in all the places I want to be at the same time.

Embrace the present. There's something to be gained, no matter where you may be.

Sometimes you just need to recharge your batteries.

Aloha,

M.

In Honor of Staff Raft

From the years where I was lucky enough to be a part of the magic on the Kings:

'10 and '11 Staff Rafts- some goodies...

Before the WFRing began...

They looked innocent, but don't let those blonde hairs and blue eyes fool you...

It stays classy up here on the river...

Smiles...

Amped and ready to go!

Galen... pretends to be so innocent...

Happy faces...

Let's talk about this...

Ale's first run in a hardshell, with Clancy pants by his side....

River on the river...
Drink the wild air and paddle in the sweet mountain water my friends.

~Love you all~

New Souls

She made it! I'm on a boat getting everything ready for a charter when a voice comes over the radio, "Is Meggan there? The authorities are here looking for her."

The captain stares right at me and says, "The authorities?" The look he gave me shocked me half to death.

I look to shore, literally thinking I'm going away in handcuffs (even though I haven't done a damn thing) (honestly), and there she is, standing on the beach, waving to the boats- my mom.

I look to the captain and crew (who all think I am going to jail) and jump in the Glass Bottom Boat to head to shore. What a surprise! I thought they were lost somewhere on the island.

She made it! I was so proud to see her there on the beach, toes in the sand, soaking up the perfect, sunny day. My mama, in Hawaii...who knew!

A couple of days off of work and some amazing adventures North to Pololu Valley and then out to sea on Seasmoke. The most incredible whale show I have seen in months, literally unbelievable. Great conversations, good food and me getting to play host on this island. I couldn't have had a better time.

The trip was short, but very sweet. I still cannot believe she was here. I am so glad she made it out to see where I am living for the time being. It was a very special visit.

Another soul has graced us with their presence on this little island... remember the tie dyed onesie? Well after 54 hours of labor (fifty-effing-four hours!), little boy, Wyatt, has made his debut. Happy and healthy. Mama is doing great and his Daddy could not be happier. So thankful that everyone is doing great.

The last couple of weeks have been filled with henna tattoos, ring shopping (not for me I assure you), lots of chocolate and fresh fruit (not together), a spa day at the Hilton, moving Manu Iwa (my favorite boat in the fleet) to Honokohau Harbor, obnoxiously unproductive crew meetings, learning British words, guitar hero, beer, trips to Hawi to buy pearls, stories from friends at sea, waking up to giant rainstorms, friends leaving on planes, lazy days, and a lack of whales.

The season is slowing down out here, but we are still enjoying our time. There's more time to hang out and relax, cook and laugh, play and go to the beach.

Cheers to the season! I hope everyone is embracing the day, even if it is cruddy, because it is still a day lived.

To all those who will be on the Kings River this week, be safe. I am there in spirit! I wish I could race over there for a run on the river, but I will just have to live through your stories when you return. Travel safe Reccers. <3

Aloha nui loa,

M.