Thirty and Counting and Owning It

Well, I've hit the big 3-0.
I will spare you all the details, but it was glorious and I am so thankful to put my 20's behind me and have some real fun in my 30's.

Here's the fitness update for February:

I am a little under four months out until this trail race of mine and I can honestly say, with complete confidence, I am not ready.
Since I announced to the world my intentions of dropping some el-bees and running a trail race at elevation, I have done some personal training, taken up some running/hiking on local trails near my home, gotten poison oak once and still am not a solid runner in any way, shape or form.  I believe I am in for a suffer fest of epic proportions, but you know what, I am okay with this.
I have four months to give it hell.
I have learned how to lift weights (properly and without ending up on Gym Fails), found a morning smoothie I can make at home and have told enough people about this race that I am really going to look like a wimp if I chicken out at the end, so I am feeling really good about it.

Things I have realized during this process:

I believe the biggest hurdle I have to overcome is my mindset.  I can be the most encouraging individual in the world for those around me, but when it comes to me and my own endeavors, I flirt with the line between a realist and a pessimist.

I have struggled many years with anxiety and bouts of depression and as a result, I get inside my own head from time to time and forget that I really am capable of so much more than I think is possible.  I see a therapist on a weekly basis and a personal trainer and together, they are my team helping my physical and mental being make it through these goals like a boss.  I recognize that I am very lucky to be able to work with these two people and do not take this for granted.  They are literally giving me my life back.

I have decided I am not going to hide in the shadows of what is going on with me moving forward.  In a weird way, turning the page into a new decade has given me a bit of courage to fly my flag and let the world know that getting in shape, both physically and mentally, is hard.  It is a lot easier to stay in bed and binge watch Netflix while I eat leftover gummies from my local market (don't panic, they're organic).  Sometimes that person wins and I end up lounging and reading and napping and not doing what I am supposed to be doing, but oh well.  I am human and my mind is hard to reason with from time to time.

Some days I crush it.  Like today.  I ate well, drank loads of water, got an epic workout in after work and have spent the evening stretching out and writing this post.  I am hoping to have more of these days than the former, but only time will tell.

I have a thyroid issue.  Near as my med professionals can tell, I most likely had this issue for years before it was discovered (possibly pre-Hawaii even).  I had a growth the size of a marble on one side of my thyroid that was discovered after I collapsed riding my bike to the gym in July of 2015 (turns out there was a reason why I was having trouble swallowing my food for the past 6 months before this) .  It had grown to such an impressive size that it was putting pressure on my carotid artery and made me pass out (a bit).  Tests and tests and biopsies and ultrasounds later and it was determined they did not know what it was, so I had half my thyroid removed in September of 2015.  The testing of the little growth (called a goiter....gross) came back negative for cancerous cells, so that's a big win in my book.

Turns out, thyroids control a lot of stuff.  My hormones, heartbeat, metabolism and anxiety levels were all over the place for a long time and still are.  Medication helped some, but I needed a lot more than what I thought I needed both mentally and physically to recover.  I became afraid of physical activity for a few years - I associated it with my bike accident and thought if I worked out too much it would happen all over again and I would lose control.  I am learning this is not the case and I have only just started to push myself again and work out of my comfort zone.

Fast forward to today, nearly three and a half years after my surgery and I am just now coming to terms with all that has happened to my body as a result of that little marble-sized growth.  I am at my heaviest weight ever.  I struggle with my energy levels even today and have been on anti-anxiety medication for about two years now to try to give my body some relief.  It has not been the easiest journey, nor the most timely of excursions, but I am living proof that changes can be made in your own time with the help of patient friends, family and professionals.

I am acknowledging that I am not at my best right now.  I have a long way to go to get back to the levels I was at both in fitness and in mental capabilities, but I am on the road back and I can honestly say, for the first time in about four years, I am excited.  I am excited to be the strong, confident and outrageously driven individual I know is still buried deep inside my soul.  She's still there and has just been hibernating for a while, waiting for the moment to break out and show the world she is capable of so many possibilities.

So if you see me on the trail and I look like I am dying, rest assured, I usually look like a cherry tomato about to explode when I run, so I am probably fine, but thanks for your concern.  If you climb with me in the near future, do not judge me for figuring out how to get this heavy body up those "easy" walls.  And if you see me eating a burrito, back yourself up, because this appetite ain't never gonna change.

As always, thank you for spending some of your time reading my words.  I look forward to the adventures ahead and am excited to see what this body can do!  <3 M.

Some Cambria hiking - Fiscalini Ranch Preserve

Moon Stone Beach - Cambria

Not a bad running spot - Wilder Ranch Bluffs

Sunsets at Pleasure Point cannot be beat.

It's candy cap season.......... candy cap cupcakes for everyone.  These are not psychadelic and actually, once dried they taste like maple syrup. Yes, I was careful and was with someone who knew exactly what we were looking for and anything that was questionable was left behind and no one died and we were safe and ..........

It's Been a Long Time // New Goals

Even as I write this, I have no idea what I should be saying to you all.  It has been over four years since my last posting.  This is something I still cannot believe and it breaks my heart a little bit.
The last time I spoke here on MotM, I was just returning from Europe with someone I hold near and dear to my heart still to this day.  Our paths have since divided and life is continuing for me in sunny Santa Cruz, California.

I am approaching a time in my life where lots of changes are happening both near and far.  People are getting married, having babies, having more babies, moving away, getting divorced, getting remarried and everything in between.  It is a wild time politically, spiritually, economically and physically.
2018 has been a doozie for me.  It has taught me a lot about myself, my impressionability, my stubbornness and my inability to accomplish all of the things I want to accomplish in a 24 hour period.

Even as I write this, my to do list is a mile long and yet, here I am writing a blog post to an audience that I am not sure is even paying attention anymore (rightfully so, it's been over four damn years).

In the past, this platform has been a place for me to share and keep in touch with those I do not see every day.  It has been a place that has held me accountable and has helped my terrible memory keep track of adventures I have had both near and far.

Moving forward, this is going to be platform where I will set some big goals for myself and take you on my journey to figure out how to accomplish them...

Goal 1:
Drop 30 lbs and run a 26K in June'19

Small task.... (maybe for some)

I don't run unless something is chasing me (which is rare).
I don't find joy in running long distances.
I hate to feel my heartbeat in my ears because it makes me think my head may explode.

Heh..... this should be fun.

In a masochistic sort of way....

Things I have done to accomplish said goal:

Subscribed to Trail Runner Magazine
Bought a foam roller
Bought some bananas

I'm feeling really good about this (read: slightly nauseous at the thought of running any distance through the woods and am now currently wanting peanut butter for my bananas).

Side note: I will have entered a new decade in my life by the time this race comes around.  That to me is scary and beautiful and really dang hard to believe.

I want this next decade to be the best so far. 

-M.

To Italy!

Our next stop- Bolzano, Italia.
It was quite the bus ride out there, but beautiful mountains flanked both sides of the autobahn (freeway) the whole drive out and before we knew it...we were in the Dolomites.  Bolzano is known as the gateway to the Dolomites and we could see why.  As soon as the city was near, beautiful spired limestone mountains appeared just outside the city.  These spires are some of the most magnificent mountains I have ever seen. Perfectly placed and plentiful, the Dolomites encompass many alpine meadows full of rich green grasses and small Austrian-style towns.
Gelato was on our minds almost immediately.  And a nap.  We were still a little jet-lagged at this point, but eager to get out and see the city.  First stop-macchiatos.  Italian coffee was always served with a small shot-glass sized glass of water and a wafer and was strong, very strong.  After our coffees, we ended up at the Ice Man's museum which houses Otzi the Ice Man.  He was discovered high in the mountains along the Austrian/Italian border by a backpacking couple (imagine having that happen on your getaway?!) who reported his nearly perfect frozen form to authorities.  After some missunderstandings, it was discovered that Otzi was in fact not a lost hiker, but a near-perfectly preserved 5,300 year old man complete with his clothes, weapons, food and backpack.  We went to Italy and saw the ice man!  Mission complete.
Bolzano also proved to be our first opportunity to get some mountain biking back in our systems.  With the Alpe di Siusi (pronounced alp dee sise), less than 45 minutes from us, we decided to go the following morning.  The Alpe Di Siusi is the largest alpine meadow in all of Europe and is one of the meadows surrounded by the beautiful Dolomites, how could we not?  We got tickets for a bus (which Nik successfully completed entirely in Italian) and began the windy ride all the way up to base of the Seiseralm Bergbahn cable car.  This cable car, complete with little blue pods for its passengers, took us to the alpine town of Compatsch.  It was there we rented bikes and took off for the day- equipped with food, water, complete rain gear and a small map given to us by a tourist information office.
What an incredible ride.  The Alpe Di Siusi was one of the most beautiful places I have ever experienced.  I got lost, naturally, in a cow pasture for a little while, but decided the best idea would be to go downhill and ended up with some of the best moments of the entire day.  I stumbled upon one of the best single tracks of the whole day and made it back to town just in time for a macchiato and apple strudel.  Yuss...  Nik definitely takes the cake as he stumbled upon a pub right at the base of the Dolomites and stopped in for a quick liter of beer before heading back to town.
While in town, in my full-blown gortex after my ride because it was freezing (we were up at 6,700ft and the clouds were setting in), I met some fellow mountain bikers who stopped to chat with me.  I must have stuck out like a sore thumb as they were nowhere near as overdressed as me.  They spoke English and turns out they were all Bolzano-locals.  When I told them I was from California, they asked where.  When I told them Santa Cruz, one of them exclaimed, "That place is like a fairy land for mountain biking, we hope we get to bike there someday."  It proved to me that even though these bikers got to bike here in this fairyland in Italy any time they wanted, they thought our hometown was the pinnacle.  It was a wonderful feeling knowing we got to come back to Santa Cruz and bike through the redwoods and have their fairyland be our homeland.
Our pod ride down the mountain and back to the bus left us both nodding off on the ride down and anxious to get back.  My gosh, people sure do know how to drive in Italy.  Our bus driver navigated a full-sized metro bus down a windy road with blind turns, one lane tunnels and crazy drivers coming in opposite him like a pro.  That being said, I was happy to get off the bus.
We found hand made pizzas with fresh mozzarella and pepperonis and olive bread at a little cart in the town square near the beautiful stone church and then went on  mission for an 800 year old pub close by to our hotel.  A quick nap and a quick shopping spree (for me) led us to our second and last night in Italy.  Our room overlooked the cobblestone road below frequented late at night by groups coming or going from various restaurants and pubs in the area.  Our evening wrapped up with round two of gelato (mint and chocolate chip) and a wander through the streets on our last warm Italian night.
Salute!

Downtown Bolzano

Open air market

Nik at the beginning of the ride

The meadow- Alpe Di Siusi

Bike shot! 

So directions were interesting...

It got a little chilly mid-ride

Going up in the pod (you can see the little blue pods on the right)

Accidental detour on my ride

Looking toward Bolzano (behind the spires)

Post ride victory round for Meggan

The bus ride down the windy road back to town

Our last evening light- around 9:45pm

Off to Fussen, Germany!

International Adventure

We went to Europe!  More specifically, we ventured into the alpine regions of Austria, Germany, Italy, Switzerland and France. We traveled by bus between locations and had quite a bundle of amazing experiences along the way.

In an effort to minimize the luggage-fiasco-catastrophes we all hear so much about when traveling internationally, we brought only carry ons- more specifically, a 30L pack and purse for a little over two weeks of travel.  I'm as surprised as you.

We were both granted the time off of work (how this happened, I'm still unsure, but it's amazing) and flew out to Salzburg, Austria on Sunday, May 25th where we began our trip...
"The HILLLSSSSS ARE ALLLIVVEEEE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSSSSICCCC...."

BUT before we did that, we were lucky enough to cruise up to the Kings River (50+miles east of Fresno) for some much needed kayak play time before our international adventure.
Normal people would have stayed home and prepared for their trip, you know, packing, repacking, looking up packing lists and resting, but not us.  Initially I was amazed that we were going to make it work and looking back, I am so glad we were able to get that time to play with new and old friends in the fresh clear waters on the Kings.  We spent three beautiful days on the Kings River, camping out and running the river with friends from all along the California coastline.
Highlight of that trip: running the river in a raft at night by headlamp. Wow.  And I mean w-o-w.  What a special treat which I will carry with me forever.  No moon, clear night, just us and the steady pull downstream.  I am so thankful for our pre-vacation vacation and the wonderful people that made it so special.

The next few posts will take a little bit closer look at the places we adventured to, the people we met along the way, the adventures we created and the food we ate...

Our adventure begins...
Salzburg, Austria
We flew into Salzburg, Austria after an eleven hour direct flight from San Francisco and a layover in Frankfurt, Germany to a giant thunderstorm.  The booming cracks of lightning and dark puffy clouds blanketed the area in a grim, mysterious light.  From the air we were able to see the giant stone fortress that looks out over the old city, Hohensalzburg Fortress.  It's a castle.  We saw a castle from the air.  I freaked out.
Crash course on Salzburg- The Sound of Music was toured around this area and so there is a major tourist industry geared around sites from the film (I still haven't seen it).  Mozart was born here and although I am not sure if he was laid to rest here, his family is and as a result, you can find funny Mozart memorabilia everywhere.  You will also find St. Peter's Cathedral and Cemetery at the base of the hill that leads to the fortress.  People speak German and are very patient with you while you attempt your first German non-swear words (thank you Jan Ole). :)  And the health care system is very black and white when you're an American- you give the doctor money and he gives you a prescription for your infected leg.  (unfortunate mishap on the river, all is well). Back to the story...
As it were, the Fortress we flew over was built and never fully completed, but was fully functioning as a walled miniature city.  As we learned from our walk-about, the fortress was complete with salt barracks, dungeons, churches and ale houses.  The stone walls, when observed more closely, were etched, by hand, for the first 20 feet in height where blocks were then placed to complete the fortress, which had little arrow slits in them to get the bad guys, wow.
Side note: A repeating occurrence throughout our trip was the incredible attention paid to detail here- so many years of work put into single rooms, it was absolutely incredible.   

The weather, was not the most favorable for us here, but we definitely made the best of it with plenty of exploring, pretzel and sausage eating and beer drinking.  We came prepared for wet weather as most of Europe is experiencing more 'normal' seasons than us Californians have experienced this year.  We looked like Teletubbies in our brightly colored rain jackets, but as a bonus, never got separated from one another.  The Salzach River was gushing.  Lots of mineral rich, milky colored water running right through the center of the city, also a sight for sore eyes as all the rivers in California are hurting for water.  We found a bridge covered in lovers lockets and plenty of Sound of Music memorabilia as well as Mozart's Chocolate Balls.  (disclaimer: Mozart's birth city has taken full advantage of his fame, by turning a profit on tourist trinkets, such as chocolate balls with Mozart's face on them) (we found this entertaining as they were literally everywhere)(We bought Mozart's balls).
Through eavesdropping over breakfast we were able to find some local hot spots for some great authentic Austrian food and beverage.  We were not disappointed as the portions were huge and the beer was cold.

From Austria we traveled southeast to the land of Hallstatt.
Hallstatt, Austria
Talk about a gorgeous sight.  Hallstatt, population 795, is this beautiful little town tucked away in the mountains on the side of beautiful swan-filled lake (Hallstatter See).  Our hotel was tucked right next to the giant Protestant Church on the water.  We looked out our hotel window and saw the church...and heard the bells on the hour, I actually loved it.
Disclaimer: swans are massive birds and these were surprisingly mellow in comparison to their annoying goose cousins.
We ventured to ice caves above the neighboring town, where we experienced freezing temperatures and wave-like formations in the ice.  Unbelievably huge waves of ice (9+meters thick).  The way it was explained is the caves were beginning their thawing process, but because of the cool winds from the mountain tops, the waves were forming and refreezing.  This process happened every year, and would thaw out as summer arrived only to refreeze the following winter.
After missing the bus down the hill, we found ourselves napping (still jet lagged) at the bus stop in the rain for an hour and a half while we waited for the last bus back to our town.  We made it, which was good as it would have been a long wet walk back.  The food was equally amazing here in Hallstatt as were the desserts.
It took us a few days to get our clocks on the right schedule, 9 hours ahead of PST.  Wide awake at 3am for several days.
We only spent one night in Hallstatt and then headed off to Italy.

View of Salzburg from the Fortress

Fortress in the background

The walls of the fortress were amazing

Sausage, sauerkraut, potatoes and beer

Pretzels for ALL! 

The Lover's Lockets (I heard a bridge in Paris just started to collapse because of all the love locked to it...?!)

More pretzels...

Nik's dungeon entrance

Mozart, in the flesh, also floating...

We arrive in Hallstatt.  Nik has found the swans...

The view in front of our hotel

The church that was literally next door to our bedroom window.

Hallstatt, Austria

The day we left, the clouds had tucked in close.

Our journey continues to Italy, Germany, Switzerland and France.